While I have no room for complaints in my life… I’m 29, perfectly healthy, everyone I love is alive and well, I’m not in debt, I truly have nothing to worry about. And yet, I still have moments of suffering. At time of writing I am only one week into my *hopefully* two to six month solo trip through Europe and Asia. And yet as I wander the cobblestone streets in the old Viking town of York, I feel a familiar knock on my door. The knock of loneliness. And while he doesn’t show his face often (thank God), when he does show up… quite frankly… it sucks.
Loneliness leaves me with doubts and insecurities. Questions of the future when in fact my favorite bible verse of all time tells me, “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” -Matthew 6:34. While 90% of the time I can “trust my journey”. And I know “exactly where you are is where you’re meant to be” (I am such a cliché). There are other times I can’t help but think… WTF am I doing? Why am I not looking to settle down? Why don’t I want to live in a big beautiful house and decorate for the holidays? Why don’t I yearn for babies?
And while I don’t know the answer, what I do know is this.…
No matter what anyone tells you, or what anyone’s life looks like on social media… we are all lonely at times. We are all questioning our existence. We are all thinking WTF on a regular basis. And while we don’t all admit it, we are all human and we all suffer. But there is beauty in suffering. We wake up. We can laugh, we can cry. Feel joy, or feel sorrow. Be content, or be jealous of “X’s” life as portrayed on social media.
But remember that this is YOUR journey. And you can only do it once. So whether you want to travel the world. Procreate. Adopt animals. Help children in Africa. It is YOUR journey. And while there will be that familiar stranger of loneliness at times… he is not invited to stay. No matter what he might *tell* you, he’ll be gone before you know it.
So sit with the loneliness. Breathe it in and appreciate that it will go away. Wake up. Smile. Be grateful for where you’re at on this journey called life. And remember that you only have one chance to do it. Life is precious. Time is precious. And so are you. Don’t waste it away.