Traveling with Loneliness

Roman Baths, Bath (Last Updated On: July 3, 2019)

While I have no room for complaints in my life… I’m 29, perfectly healthy, everyone I love is alive and well, I’m not in debt, I truly have nothing to worry about.  And yet, I still have moments of suffering.  At time of writing I am only one week into my *hopefully* two to six month solo trip through Europe and Asia.  And yet as I wander the cobblestone streets in the old Viking town of York, I feel a familiar knock on my door.  The knock of loneliness.  And while he doesn’t show his face often (thank God), when he does show up… quite frankly… it sucks.

Loneliness leaves me with doubts and insecurities.  Questions of the future when in fact my favorite bible verse of all time tells me, “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own” -Matthew 6:34.  While 90% of the time I can “trust my journey”.  And I know “exactly where you are is where you’re meant to be” (I am such a cliché).  There are other times I can’t help but think… WTF am I doing?  Why am I not looking to settle down?  Why don’t I want to live in a big beautiful house and decorate for the holidays?  Why don’t I yearn for babies?

 

Lake District, England

 

And while I don’t know the answer, what I do know is this.…

No matter what anyone tells you, or what anyone’s life looks like on social media… we are all lonely at times.  We are all questioning our existence.  We are all thinking WTF on a regular basis.  And while we don’t all admit it, we are all human and we all suffer.  But there is beauty in suffering.  We wake up.  We can laugh, we can cry.  Feel joy, or feel sorrow.  Be content, or be jealous of “X’s” life as portrayed on social media.

But remember that this is YOUR journey.  And you can only do it once.  So whether you want to travel the world.  Procreate.  Adopt animals.  Help children in Africa.  It is YOUR journey.  And while there will be that familiar stranger of loneliness at times… he is not invited to stay. No matter what he might *tell* you, he’ll be gone before you know it.

So sit with the loneliness.  Breathe it in and appreciate that it will go away.  Wake up.  Smile.  Be grateful for where you’re at on this journey called life. And remember that you only have one chance to do it.  Life is  precious.  Time is precious.  And so are you.  Don’t waste it away.

 


For more on lessons learned on the road check out the posts below

Traveling with Fear

13 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Lone Traveller


 

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Kylee splits her time between being a NICU nurse and solo traveler. Spending half her time at the bedside, Kylee has been caring for premature babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for five years now. She began Passports and Preemies in 2017 to reach nurses and advocate for the prevention of nurse burnout by traveling. Kylee is the original creator of the “8 Day Vacay” – A vacation geared towards nurses aiming to take advantage of the potentially 8 days off between work weeks with no need to use PTO.

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13 Comments

  1. Cassie
    November 1, 2018 / 1:15 am

    You’re killin it!! Tell that little man bye bye and keep living for those cliches! Love you!!

  2. Ashley
    November 1, 2018 / 3:44 am

    Love the piece kylee. You are a gifted writer. Your advice is on point.

  3. November 1, 2018 / 4:09 am

    You are so inspirational! Love the whole last sentence of this post! Kylee – I hope you’re having a great time in York! I was there last November and it’s such a beautiful (but busy!) city. Have fun and keep being your positive awesome self!

    • November 1, 2018 / 12:36 pm

      Thank you Crystal!!!! You’re the best! And yes, SO BUSY! Wasn’t expecting it….

  4. Jodi
    November 2, 2018 / 2:34 am

    Thinkin of ya! I know you’re having a blast! Wish I could join in! Xo

  5. November 3, 2018 / 10:10 pm

    This was SO beautifully written and I couldn’t agree more! I recently came to discover the difference of being alone, and dealing with lonliness. They’re two very different things, but I think the very first step to dealing with it is learning to love yourself and the skin you’re in XX

    • November 4, 2018 / 7:54 pm

      So right 🙂 – I’ve also found that I can be in a crowded room with lots of friends and still feel lonely.

  6. Zook
    November 21, 2018 / 5:03 am

    I know I’m late to reading this, but Ky. This is amazing. I am seriously clinging to every word of this post. Thank you for sharing your heart and journey as you follow your dream. Praying for you!! ❤️❤️❤️

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